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Less is More! How to downsize?

Posted on February 10, 2017

Argh…big sigh…I realize I can write a lot about the state of the world. This is a lot of  what I have been talking about in my work and professional life for weeks but, I am going to move my attention to fun future planning. At least for a bit. A pleasing distraction.

Working on our departure! We have a little over six months to go before we take off for our near year trip away from the States. I am feeling a mix of excitement and frozen in indecision or angst. What is set, you ask?

We are leaving at the end of August and are heading West. Those steps of the first days/weeks we are out and about will be documented later. Right now, we are wrestling with the pieces we leave behind.

So, what to do with our house? We had this romantic idea of leaving most of our furniture in our house and rent it out on a part-time basis by Airbnb or Homeaway. 78a265wpio4-david-marcuHowever, I have found out that the City of Portland (thank you Amanda Rhoads for educating me) is really cracking down on folks renting their houses out for short-term rentals. You have to live in your house 270 days a year to do short rentals on the other 90 days.

I get that there is a housing crunch in our city and support measures to block people from profiting crazily from this. However, I am bummed. I had hoped to have a relative easy access to our house if something were to go horribly wrong while we are on the road. The idea that our house was comforting back up plan if need be.

That brings us to the other option of a long-term renter. We are going to get it up and going before the school year so, perhaps a new Portland family can find some comfort in our space.

That leaves storage! We have shifted into this mind space to downsize so, we aren’t putting a gillion boxes into storage only to be unpacked a year later wondering why we will have the stuff we lived without for 12 months. Kelvin is heading up this task with plans of various drop spots in our garage: sell, donate and throw away. I’ve been bumping around places on the internet to learn more about minimalism at home.

I have had 42 addresses in my life so, moving, while a headache, is not such a worry for me. But, the accumulation of a life’s stuff does get in my head. tpkqwyhy8q4-aneta-ivanovaEven ten years after my Mom died, my Dad still had their house in the exact same state as it was the day after her wake. The tablecloths were still on the tables and her purse from the hospital was sitting by the door, full of her eyeglasses, paper planner and multitudes of expired medications. It was sad for me and, I think, spooky for others.

To live a lighter life feels and seems like a good idea. We plan on carrying everything we need on the road. Small amounts of clothing and entertainment devices. Having less around our house also feels good on the brain.

So, onward and upward! On with the planning. Please comment on thoughts and suggestions.

 

Brene' Brown Disappointment elections Expectations Fitting in Grief and Loss minimalism mom blog Parenting vulnerability worry

Here’s Your Notification: Turn off Your Notifications!

Posted on January 27, 2017

As I write this in the middle of the night, I am not struck by the irony of my thought or suggestion. I was tossing and turning tonight as I churned thoughts after attending at talk by Michael Lewis. He is known for his works The Big Short, Moneyball, The Blind Side among others.

In his varying topics last night, his talk included the new Trump Presidency.  I was really struck by his discussion with Hanna Rosin about what is going on in our country. Hanna asked, ‘Are we going to be dumber in four years? He said it’s like Patton standing in front of the American flag in movie theaters in the 1940s with the statement.

“There is one great thing that you men will all be able to say after this war is over and you are home once again. You may be thankful that twenty years from now when you are sitting by the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in the great World War II, you WON’T have to cough, shift him to the other knee and say, ‘Well, your Granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana.’” ― General George S. Patton, Jr. to his troops on June 5, 1944

Then WWII. Now, 2017, our new reality. Get involved. And make it count. And we’ve seen this over the weekend.qc6vnbe4jqs-jerry-kiesewetter Millions out walking, marching, speaking out for a multitude of reasons.

Yes, it is good (I know, there are plenty of competing thoughts on this) however, your involvement has got to be balanced or your going to end up in my office. This week, I found the tone of many sessions came back to and unpacked angst, fear, anxiety, worry, anger and grief.

In only a week and how many times have I been bounced around the blogosphere, social networking sites with topics and events from inauguration, women’s march to minute by minute updates of what is being done or said in Washington and, therefore, bouncing around the world)?

My clients and I discussed this and pondered, maybe we are not only online too much but, we are being ‘pinged’ too much.otedkfse3j0-anete-lusina My work is hearing about what is taking up space and interrupting people’s lives and making it not work as well – it frequently comes back to – too many notifications.

This week I have been talking with clients about a media diet and that delicate balance between FOMO and awareness. During sessions, my clients are aware that my office is one of the few places where they don’t look at their phone for 50 minutes. I see them carefully put their phone at the other end of the couch or hesitate in their handling of their devices as they settle in.

I had to take deliberate steps to reduce my access to information and I am doing this imperfectly. My morning routine, for nearly 30 years, has been listen to NPR. It is as much a part of my day as my coffee, and getting dressed. This news cycle is ruining my everyday experience. I used to find it grounding. Now, I find my own levels of agitation are raised before I leave the house. Then I may take it out on my kids, or in my driving or my stress eating. I can’t do this. Not every day. Not for the foreseeable future.

I think of Stephen Colbert’s Election Night speech. Before the outcome was fully decided, Stephen encouraged us to get back to our lives and reminisced about when he was a kid and politics was a once in a while topic at the dinner table. Now, it can be several times a minute depending on how many notifications you have on.

I am also drawn to work by minimalist parent advocate, Asha Dornfest, who has been trying to help us be better parents and humans with her blog and podcast. that-horrifying-moment-when-youre-looking-for-an-adult-but-then-realize-you-are-an-adult-so-you-look-for-an-older-adult-someone-successfully-adulating-an-adultier-adult-fcb44She said in 2015 at the World Domination Summit that sometimes we are searching for someone else to be in charge.

So, given this. What do I recommend? Who am I to recommend anything? Well, I am a struggling  woman, mom, business owner, therapist, friend and human. I have to figure out how to balance it myself or I won’t be able to see you and I don’t want to be in the fetle position in the corner of my bedroom. But, like Brene’ Brown says, we need to embrace our imperfections. Well, excellent I can do that!

Some suggestions include; screen free days or, a at minimum, screen free pockets of time in our days. zajstp1nb88-alex-holyoakeThat is a start. I also recommend a couple of apps Calm and Mindshift that help us distract or rather, be in the moment.

Okay, enough for now. Excuse me while I go crawl back into bed and hope my hot water bottle has a little love left to give. And I will resist the urge to flip over the phone to see what’s happened in the last 20 minutes.