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Camper Van Beethoven up the East Coast

Sol 29 – Starting our fifth week. The last 10 days have been filled with vast views outside and some tight living quarters inside. After our first pet sit we ambled into the world in a camper van affectionately named ‘Beethoven’. Any lover of indie rock from the 90s might know what I am taking about.

We drove up the East Coast and boy, it is a BIG country. This seem longer because it is written in kilometers but, also they list cities that are 1700 kilometers away! It makes you feel that you are really on the long haul. Then there are the serious but, somehow seemly cute signs warning you of Kangaroos and Koala bear crossings.

We spent a lot of time checking out different beach fronts and finding the magic of Rainbow Beach where the colors of the sands are a painters dream. So many hues.

We camped at 1770 Holiday Park, in 1770, the town with the historical significance of  the only town to be named a number and after when Captain Cook landed in….you guessed it 1770.

Then to Hervey Bay where the tide rolls in and out for 100s of yards (or meters!) and the sea life is majestic. We stayed at a place called Scarness which Kelvin kept saying was ‘scariness’ which made us giggle as it would be an odd name for such a beautiful place.

We made some great connections in the holiday parks and the boys made some friends learning some ‘footie’ i.e. rugby, a smattering of cricket and taking part in delightful discussions of favorite candy bars and breakfast foods while swimming and diving for Australian coins. We were kindly and generously served Australian wines and given some great insights of places to go and very kind inquiries of our travels. Thanks Fiona and Tony!!

Oakley seems to be having the toughest transition. Every time we have ‘world school’ he melts as if he’s lost his bone structure into a small puddle. He has some sniffles about missing his friends. We soothe with Legos, familiar songs and hugs but, it is hard for him at times. It is hard to see him sad and we work to help.

Canyon seems to be a bit more resilient but, is up and down lately especially the closer we get to his 10th birthday (on the 24th) which he is simultaneously excited for and worried that no one will remember.

Since we are on a pretty tight budget we have to be really thoughtful about where we spend our money especially when it comes to experiences. We decided we needed to have some experience out on the water since we were at the Southern end of the Great Barrier Reef and when would that happen again? Also, we so wanted to go to Fraser Island but, it was just too cost prohibitive for us.

But, we did find a gem in our experience on the Pacific Whale Foundation . They are not profit putting their earnings back into research which they were conducting while we where onboard. We saw an amazing array of whales, mommas, escorts and babies, who seemed to be just flirting with our boat all afternoon doing all the activity described on the phamplet.  Even our guides seemed to be impressed with the activity.

We also saw jumping tuna (our cat back home would have been out of her mind!) and sea turtles. The captain even took us close to Fraser Island to see white sand coast line and search for dingo sightings.

We have been frequenting the grocery stores to plan our meals. I think we have only eaten out as family three times since arriving in Australia. One was a fish and chips delight, another a pub dinner that was okay and another the first day at the shopping center food court in our jet lagging weariness.

Being married to a chef has its perks. We did take advantage of one of the countless free BBQs all over in nearly every park. It is such a great idea to be able to cook up whatever you want nearly wherever. We have seen people laying out high teas complete with champagne and several tiered cake trays, hot plates with kettles and a ‘civilized’ spread that would challenge most high-end dinners out. These folks know how to enjoy the out-of-doors!

We start our second pet sit with three dogs in North Brisbane while completing our second stay with the kitties near the Gold Coast. It was a sight for sore eyes to have hot water, wifi, a couch and rooms that one could shut by themselves and be alone for at least a bit. Again, loving our connection with Trusted Housesitters.

Keep tuned as we head into the last third of our time in Australia and prepare for Bali. We hope to create a birthday to remember for Canyon. He’ll be a decade old!

Kelvin bravely feeding the Lorakeets in Forest Glen

Boys playing dream chess ala Harry Potter?

Our humble home in the woods.

Room with view at Hervey Bay

Boys enjoying the sunset at 1770

Actually finding a Koala in a tree on the side of the road.

Dinner time at Rainbow Beach!

The introverts in the quiet carriage in Brisbane.

Cosy sleeping arrangements or claustrophobic. You decide.

Sunrise at Rainbow Beach

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5 Things to Do Before We Skip Town-Cleaning out the Mental Cobwebs

We hit the six-months-to go mark yesterday. Whoa, yikes!..I just caught my breath when I wrote that. That means about 180 days to ready, steady, go. In my whirling life I realize I have a lot of loose threads I am constantly picking at. Some are reasonable and others are just plain, annoying time sucks. So, while I am trying to ‘clean house’ literally I also need to do it figuratively.

These are the things I am working on.

Kicking Toxic Relationships to the Curb! I am a human, non-sociopath (thank goodness) but, that also means I am a deeply feeling person. While this is not a bad thing, I find that I invest in relationships that are clearly not helpful, kind, symbiotic or healthy for me.kristopher-roller-188180

I spend a lot of time trying to craft a response from someone I care about and ache for them to like me back. I spend too much time, energy and, quite frankly, pieces of my soul in the output of others without receiving a balanced, authentic connection in return.
I am practicing turning towards the ones that have shown up and have earned the right to hear my story.

Say No When I Feel I Should say ‘Yes’. How many times a DAY do I mumble out an ‘okay’ or squeak a ‘yes’ when I know, in my heart of hearts, this request is not what truly aligns with my value much less, even have time for. It feels like a must but, at what cost?
dikaseva-34987Now, I don’t mean shirking my responsibilities but, rather saying yes to a time commitment that ever shrinks my sliver of ‘me time’ that have on my calendar. No one is making me do this. I do it. And I need to cut it out. Now.

 

Paying attention to the ‘shoulds, oughts and musts’ that rattle in my head.  Or otherwise said, stop ‘shoulding’ on myself. I say this to my clients all to time and like other  psychotherapists, I don’t always practice what I suggest (shock!). I think of these words as threads from someone else’s rule book, goals and they hijack my own dreams, hopes and intentions.

jared-erondu-15318I find myself surveying the room to find the ‘best’ choice or solution for all involved and meanwhile my voice, and often, my values get muffled.

Pushing others agendas to the front of the line will get me nowhere and often, it is not reciprocated

Resetting my Expectations of Others. Also, something I talk a lot about with clients. I am trying to do this more in my own relationships and, luckily, I have a very supportive and intuitive husband that often takes me by the shoulders and tries to redirect me to the more realistic path.

When we have an event, gathering or interaction coming useemi-samuel-15564p, my husband and I will talk about what the minimum expectations are (seriously shooting as low as possible), what is reasonable and achievable and then, the dream scenario.
All the while, becoming abundantly aware that I can only control myself as I am hoping for some crazy, magic, Jedi mind trick to get others into knowing and doing what I want. Often without saying it out loud.

Minimum : Low, low, bottom of barrel e.g. I show up at an event, I have a coffee
Reasonable and Achievable: e.g. I see the person, have a couple of connectingwords. 
Dream Scenario, aka, Lottery, Bonus, Gravy: The names says it all, expecting the best!  

unknown
I am setting simpler expectations. Dream Scenario will not likely happen but, if it does, what a pleasant surprise! It’s a lot shorter fall from high expectations and landing splat in a pile of disappointment and resentment to saying ‘that was unexpectedly awesome’.

 

Slow down and Look People in the Eye. In our technologically focused society we are often bumbling around the streets, coffee lines and even traffic lanes with our eyes angling down at a device. We are missing connections around us that are as authentic as anything we desire from those we are following on social media. jon-tyson-77013Simple eye contact is a deeply personal, human experience.

Now, I am not saying I am trying to see into stranger’s souls. No, I am merely saying we often feel so alone while surrounded by dozens of people. And a simple head nod and eye connection can boost our serotonin and release a few healthy hormones in blood stream to battle the anxiety and cortisol spikes we get while scanning click bait online.

 

Whew…so, what are you working on? Is this helpful to you?  These are not going to be accomplished immediately. These are all practices that are like pulling the car alignment into place. It takes attention and management. Saying them out loud makes me more accountable for them as well. So, how about you? No high expectations, just the minimum please.

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My Brush with Political Change, 27 Years Ago as the Berlin Wall Fell and Hope Grew. What Will This November Bring?

I am socked down with a cold that is like a very unwelcome houseguest. It needs to go! When I am sick, I realize how mindful I can really be. Sad that I don’t do this more when I am feeling tip-top but, it makes sense that I am acutely aware of the goings on within my body as they are abnormal; breathing is different, labored and stuffy. My thinking is foggy, less efficient and I am losing my train of thought. It wavers more than a sleepy driver on a long stretch of highway.

So, I am loaded up with medications that help drain my sinuses yet, provide a plastic like feeling of awareness in my brain. It feels clearer but, fake. Yet, in these times I do find that my mind drifts to other times. My daydreaming comes back in waves. I get a mind hook on a thought and suddenly, I am plunged down into a wormhole of memories that I haven’t accessed in a while. I kinda like it at times as it brings up thoughts and memories I haven’t visited in a while.

This is where I have been this week, being ill and watching autumn in full splendor I am tripped back to my memories of living in the Netherlands in the late 80s and early 90s. In particular, the date of November 9th comes into focus.fullsizeoutput_828b The day the Berlin Wall fell. That fall of 1989, I was on an exchange program living in Northern Netherlands attending University of Groningen or more formally, Rijks Universiteit of Groningen.

I was a 20-year-old with a backpack and new awareness of what it meant to be studying  in a European college atmosphere. There are no campuses for 300 year old colleges. The academic building are spread throughout the ancient city. Our housing was too. Due to some concerns the study abroad advisor moved several of us international students to a former academic building that was ‘transformed’ into house. Transform is a loose definition of what was set up.

We had portable showers set up in closets and our bedrooms were the former offices of academics, cozy and of varying shapes. Our kitchen was made out of the former library supplied with two hot plates and two mini fridges and a host of boxes individually marked to store our groceries we bought at the market a couple of times a week.

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Sporting my serious look in front of the Berlin Wall four days before it fell. 

I learned the skill of buying on the day of when you were cooking and that most things don’t need refrigeration (I still adhere to many of these lessons today although, our American culture doesn’t. That is a story for another time).

There were nearly 30 of us living in this building. We had doorbell and one phone that echoed in a large, looming portico that was empty but for the table on which the phone sat. We might receive messages from people who called but, mostly they would be surprise discoveries on scraps of paper, “Oh, my mom called on Thursday! I wonder what she had to say. Who’s writing is this?’ Looking back, I am sure my mom was taking her Valium every time during the stretches she didn’t hear from me. This was before email, smartphones and even, the internet. Phone calls, the occasional fax and old-fashioned pen to paper were the means of communication.

My ‘housemates’ came from Belgium, England, France, Serbia, Canada, Germany, Italy and America among other places. We would marvel in the evenings dinners being prepared an aromatic lesson on culinary differences. The Belgian boys would spend no less than 1-2 hours a night preparing their dinners of spiced mussels and broth or country stews that simmering invitingly.fullsizeoutput_8288 My North American friends and I did alright, making a stir fry or a variety of breakfast for dinner. I learned to love my coffee, several time a day. The absolutely civility of having a coffee break in the middle of class made me feel like a grown up as our lecturers would mingle with us next to the automat Koffie machines offering us a cigarette as we continued the talk of the lecture. This was not an American experience.

I remember that fall of learning about olie bollen (fried dough balls) from a street vendor and still warm and stroopwafels fresh from the press while we talked about Germany. Two American friends and I had gone to Berlin the weekend before. We marveled in this very cold, industrial, exciting city. We went through checkpoint Charlie to the East and found we didn’t have the right German Marks to buy food or cigarettes and wound up sitting on an empty street offering Western cigarettes for Eastern marks so we could buy dinner.

I spent one afternoon walking from Checkpoint Charlie to the Reichstag and in fascination of the existence of the Berlin Wall, I wrote down all the English quotes I found on the wall in my journal. I added my own. U2 lyrics from I Will Follow from the album Boy

I was on the inside
When they pulled the four walls down
I was looking through the window
I was lost – I am found

Walk away, walk away
I walk away, walk away – I will follow
If you walk away, walk away
I walk away, walk away – I will follow

We saw a demonstration of reportedly 500,000 people in West Berlin asking for better travel rights. The next day, travel rights granted, our train ride back to the Netherlands we were faced with the fact that every seat had been sold four times so, we sat in shifts. fullsizeoutput_828dPeople were not upset or phased by this. Instead, we talked with people who had never been in Western Germany and had their entire families packed in to go visit a long unseen aunt or other relative somewhere. I spoke with a young, idealist Eastern German man who told me he thought it was the age of Aquarius. As the train bustled along and we shared cigarettes I felt a jolt of excitement and hope surge through me.

Days later, in the Netherlands, we heard the news that the wall had fallen. “What?!?!” We bought all the newspapers we could find to read about the dramatic changes and trying to understand through our very poor Dutch, French and German what was happening. We gave money to our Canadian flatmate to go back the following weekend to take pictures and bring us a piece of the wall. Four days and a world changed. I was there in the margins. fullsizeoutput_829b

And then I am back from my daydream…to our current reality. I am aware of my phone buzzing with the latest evaluation of the most recent polls and political dissection of this election. Thinking if I refresh the screen I just might know a bit more information. I can google parts of Berlin, webcams showing realtime video. I can send a message to any number of people in various places around the earth in a minute or even a second. At times I yearn for the simpler, less complicated times. We were left with our own thoughts.

I am struggling with the political mood our country is currently in. I felt so much hope then and now, merely tension. So, I am enjoying the cold-influenced daydream to a time when we rooted for change and the rhetoric was more polite, if impassioned. When we believed things would get better. Here’s hoping this November we can take a page from history and root for peaceful political change.