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March 2017

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Giving Up Our Safe Spaces and ‘Things’

Five months to go to lift off. There are a hundred scattered thoughts in my head. Things happening in our world distract me endlessly and I am working on pulling myself back to our trip. It feels like wrestling with the alignment in my car. 

So, what’s next? Well, still trying to pare down our possessions. Mostly, this feels like it is happening in my head as I walk from room to room and think about what I really need and what I can let go. IMG_1716I get caught in this struggle to find the ‘best’ place for my stuff. I think, ‘I really should sell that book’ rather than just give it away. So, then I get caught in the crosshairs of finding most economical solution and what is that, really? If I clean out the metaphorical cobwebs doesn’t that have a plus on my well-being?

Recently, I have discovered Let Go and Offer Up and I
love the concept of them. The idea of being able to see what you are buying or post attractive photos of what you are selling appeals to me. I get that Craig’s List is similar, however, the immediate visual works better for me. Now, the problem is not scrolling around for things I don’t need to gather. Just sell. Just let go. Don’t accumulate.

Then the challenge in renting our house out. I so wish we could leave our furniture but, understand it is a risk in having it taken care of in a way that we would. I cringe in paying for big storage unit while trying to rent out our house. Hence, the desire to reduce our ‘stuff’. How willing are folks willing to rent out a house for a year, knowing they will not be able to extend the lease? My hope is yes folks will. So, there in lies the challenge. To find the right rental match for us and our house.

IMG_1700Did you know you have to pay taxes on your rental income? Some of you are hitting your forehead with your hand and saying, ‘YES, I knew that!’.
Well, I am catching up, just give me a chance. There is the magical pricing of getting a rent to pay the mortgage, the fees for someone to ‘manage’ the house while we are gone and then adjust to make sure we can pay taxes and I’m not paying to have someone stay at our house. It is a bit of math wizardry.

I’ve been looking at  Zillow to help figure that out. Found a good article on finding renters. The things to include in a rental agreement. Feels a little fool hardy to leave our most important purchase in our lifetime in the hands of strangers for year but, this whole venture is a risk. Jumping into plans to completely rewire our reality for a year feels scary. And leaving our house is a giant step of vulnerability. It’s our place of safety, comfort and, quite literally, home.

Keep tuned….more mind bending contemplations to come.

 

family travel Parenting round the world travel sensory issues travel travel blog vulnerability worry

Perfectionism and Sensory Overload

Every day closer to our departure, I am getting more excited and, honestly, a bit more freaked out. Reading other travel blogs excites me and then sets a new bar of ‘I wonder if we could do that’ to ‘Should we do that’ to ‘Are we supposed to do that?’  Trying to avoid the quesitons in my head that have a should, ought or must in them. Trying to reword them into maybes and that could be interesting. I have a lot of articles on my reading list tab and an other dozen in open windows on each of my devices. I have to consciously remind myself to read and enjoy and not read and add to my FOMO (fear of missing out) list.john-mark-arnold-42898

Trying to be careful to avoid perfectionism, I have to dig deep and ask myself what choices would mean in the long run and avoid that biggest annoying, perfectionism question ‘What would other people think’. That is a big one that we all grapple with and sometimes succeed in out running. I reach to Brene’ Brown’s work on vulnerability and perfectionism and it helps me ask myself reasonable and helpful questions. I am striving to be more internally motivated rather than externally so.

Overall, my husband and I have had a lot of positive feedback to our travel plan. Yet, this is a plunge into the unknown, for us as it is for most folks. We can read a lot about what travel is like for families in Laos but, what will that really be like for our family. We have two boys with sensory struggles so, all our parenting life has been learning how to navigate seemingly routine situations with a new eye on how this will play out for our boys, each of which has a different threshold for specific sensory input and output.

Personally, I’ve encountered some narrow-minded feedback on what our kids are dealing with, from ‘Is that (Sensory Processing Disorder ) even really a thing?’ to the equally unhelpful ‘You are over reacting and no wonder it effects your kids’. With a deep breath and shake of my shoulders, I move on.

Our boys are contemplating thoughtful questions about travel that one with experience in clemente-ruiz-abenza-134561leaving the country might overlook. I love the simplicity of their queries about ‘Are bathrooms available where we are going?’, ‘What is the likelihood shark attacks in Australia?’ to the far-reaching of ‘What if I miss my friends?’ and ‘Where will we sleep?’

Kelvin and I are both seeking solace in knowing we can’t answer all the questions and many not until we get to where we are going and that is okay. We can find basic answers to help the curiosity but, we are realizing that we are teaching our kids that predictability is not necessary and is, in fact, a wild goose chase. We are learning to contemplate that some steps have to be taken with a leap of faith and that it will all turn out the best it can for the situation we find ourselves in.

This doesn’t mean we are not working to soothe and calm each other in the face of the unknown but, we are going to work to avoid exacting answers that may change.kristopher-roller-188180 All while understanding that trying to make other’s happy with our choices doesn’t always make us happy and ultimately we can’t control others opinions anyway.

Big lungful of air here. We are all going to be okay.

So, sensory awareness and perfectionism shake off. These are things to contemplate as we move closer to our departure.

 

 

 

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